Monday, 3 October 2011

How Marriage Relationships Are Ruined

People will forget what you said, 

People will forget what you did, but 

People will never forget how you made them feel.

 - Maya Angelou-

Emotions are the feelings of happiness, joy, anger, hurt, sadness, depressions and excitement.
All are the outcome from our thinking.
The thinking is always affected by our learning process, exposure and interpretations.
The physical circumstances also affect our thinking.

Marriage is the most intimate relationship to share feelings however it is important to
understand and respect your spouses feelings as well.
There are times when you have to take judicious decisions and change your feelings.

Soon after marriage, Anita was exposed to a Spiritual guru who was advocating some
sort of wisdom which Anita interpreted as giving up physical relationship desires with
her husband. Their marriage was almost breaking but luckily Anita  realised timely the importance
and the necessity of it and saved her marriage.

Mansi (56) was also exposed to a spiritual Guru.
She received his discourse through email on 7 Jul 2011. (Published below)
She interprets it her way and without and communication, issue court summon to her husband for separation on 9 Sep 2011.

Spiritual Guru's Discourse

7th July, 2011

The next month is vital for one particular activity: that of breaking bonds.

This energy flow will last approximately 30 to 35 days from this moment onward, and if you so choose, you may ‘ride upon the wave’ and break all kinds of bonds that have held you captive over lifetimes.

Let us look at some of these bonds.

From the widest perspective, there are bonds you might have carried forward over lifetimes.  You might be bonded to a vow of poverty or chastity, for example, which you might not even be consciously aware of, in this lifetime.  Similarly, you might be carrying forward an issue of victimhood, or bigotry, or lack, and playing out this pattern over and over again.

Then there are family bonds: aspects that an entire family, generation after generation, is trapped in, as a collective.

And then there are earthly bonds you create in the current lifetime, in which you are enmeshed: patterns and belief structures that have now become ‘energetic corsets’ that grow tighter and tighter over time.

The task of freeing yourself from these bonds has to be done personally; you may take help along the way, but the actual act is a personal one, and is reliant upon your own power. 

You will have to introspect deeply, and clearly define your bonds.  You then have to understand why you have created these bonds, and then choose to shift into another space of existence.

Many in this room, for example, are enmeshed in bonds of chastity and poverty. Please understand that ‘chastity’ does not only refer to sexual abstinence, but also to lack, constriction and deprivation in other areas of you life.

Could one call these bonds ‘constraints’?


As service to self in this area, you will now start creating events that offer you the opportunity to face and identify these bonds.  Be alert to these throughout the day: situations of varying degrees of magnitude will arise for this very purpose.

Could there be a bond with space, rather than a person?

Yes, if you feel yourself excessively bonded to, or stifled by, a particular space.

Can we break a negative bond and try to transmute it into a positive one?

You can free yourself of it by first understanding why you created it, learning your lesson, and then choosing to exist in another reality.  This new ‘space’ is not another bond, but an energetic space of choice.

Let us look at a practical example: assuming you have a certain constricted, repetitive pattern with your husband.  When you examine this, you find that you are playing the victim to him.  You may then realize that this pattern is not only between you and your husband, but that you play this with several others as well.

Now, having identified this bond, you must first take responsibility for having created it, and then self-search, to find out why.  Only after this is done can you choose, through strong intent, to sever the bond, and replace it with another state of existence.  Perhaps this could be the choice of living ‘as an equal’ with others, instead of constantly playing the doormat.

The final stage is this: you have to take action and begin to live it. You have to touch your own power, and stand up to the upcoming situations.  Face them. Speak out in balance and power. Hold your own. In short, you have to live the change you have just created.

 How often can you change the change?

 As often as you desire, and with whomsoever and whatever you desire.  The human race is currently ready for a collective shift in its patterns and belief structures.  It is ready for this metamorphosis.  And therefore it has drawn to self the appropriate universal energies, to facilitate this.

Now, even when the collective had drawn these energies to self, you still have individual choice: you can resist these changes, or you can choose to flow with them.  Those who resist will simply find their personal circumstances getting harder and more intensive…this is natural, as at a higher level, all desire the change.  The freedom from old bonds.

Author's comments

Super intelligent people talk philosophies, create a following and start suggesting what is to be done and they mastermind everything for commercial reasons. Gullible people fall into the trap.
The whole philosophy is complicated and does not make sense to a common man.
Mansi misunderstood everything about "The next month is vital for one particular activity: that of breaking bonds." and took action to severe her relationships with her husband within the given time frame of 35 days.

No teaching should be looked at as a single complete teaching. All things are inter related. 
There is this body and then we have the mind.
Body has it's own needs. If you are hungry you need food and not positive thinking or spiritual pursuit.
A positive thinking may give you strength to endure the hunger a little longer and to look for better solutions to meet the need of the body but if the need is not fulfilled, we ultimately have to give in to the need of hunger or other body requirements.

Life is simple and beautiful. Don't make it complex with philosophies in order to look or feel different without understanding the difference.

A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.  Buddha

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.  Buddha

1 comment:

  1. We make them cry who care for us,
    We cry for those who never care for us
    And we care for those who will never cry for us.
    This is the truth of life, its strange but true.
    Once we realize it, its never too late to change.

    How many of us realize this? Often it is so late that other factors start dominating.