Men have Different Needs Than Women

Marriage is a relationship based on needs, emotional feelings and not just social requirement. It has the power to enhance the capabilities of each other or in certain cases if mishandled, it can even destroy each other.

It is essential to reach a certain maturity level before getting into matrimonial relationship.

It requires certain understanding of each others needs and emotional feelings and make room for them.

When needs are not fulfilled, it leads to dissatisfaction and affects us emotionally. It is good to let out our pent up emotions instead of accumulating it to a point that it explodes and causes traumatic situation.

There are ups and downs in any family and in our life. It is how we handle them makes the difference. The important factor is our intentions.

There are two most essential things in marriage relationship are

1. Feelings for each other.

2. Communication

It is the feelings for each other that makes us face most of the challenges, give up certain rigidity to accommodate the needs of the partner, go out of the way to fulfill normal wishes of the partner.

Communication is essential to understand each other, their needs and feelings. Even emotional out bursts, anger etc are a form of communication though not healthy communication.

Non communication, miscommunication, hurting communication and indifferent attitude are some of the hurdles in marriage relationships.

Arranged marriages start of with social requirements and, along the way understanding each others needs and fulfilling them helps develop emotional feelings for each other. The faster we make efforts to understand each others needs and develop emotional attachment, the happier the relationship will be.

It is an established fact that the needs of women are little different then that of a man. Women is more sensitive in nature and looks for security. A man on the other hand attaches more importance to his physical and emotional needs and is more egoistic.

A little care should be taken in verbal communication. Any normal relationships are bound to face some hurting moments. It is advisable to avoid hurting words but to suppress your emotions is also harmful. With practice we can learn taming of emotions.

If we can learn to pacify each other after the hurting moments using simple words like "sorry", "I appreciate what you have done for me", "I love you" etc, it helps in diffusing the hard feelings. Men being more egoistic, this initiative will generally have to come from women. It can make the most egoistic people also melt fast.

A man generally seeks physical relationship to release his tensions. A woman should help her husband release his tensions. She should use her charm and make her husband feel wanted.

Ultimately it is the emotional feelings which counts and makes us take actions and decisions to accommodate the other partner and his incompatibility. If the emotional attachment is lacking, the marriage will be unhappy and sooner or later will result into traumatic situations.

Emotional Needs

So often we hear folks say that their spouse is not fulfilling their emotional needs. When we ask what needs are not being fulfilled, people mention things that are not emotional needs but what we consider to be wants and desires. You need to take responsibility for filling your own needs.

Four Basic Emotional Needs

• The need to love and be loved.
• The need to belong and have a sense of purpose in life.
• The need to have a positive self image.
• The need for autonomy, that is a need for some personal, private space and control.

Some may add the need for security to this list of emotional needs. We believe that people who love and are loved, who have a sense of belonging and can see purpose to their lives, who believe in themselves, and who have a sense of control over their own lives are secure individuals.

Meeting Your Emotional Needs

Expecting your spouse to fill your emotional needs is not only unfair, it is unreasonable. You should take responsibility for filling your emotional needs yourself.
"If you are looking to a partner to make you feel worthwhile, to make you feel happy, to rescue you from a bored or unhappy life, if you are seeking someone to make you feel complete or whole -- well then you have some work to do, because these are needs that are never going to be met by any one other than yourself," says Sugrue. To put those demands on someone else is to set up yourself -- and the relationship -- for failure."

Source: Dennis Sugrue, psychologist, Medicinenet.com