Saturday, 26 November 2011

Men have Different Needs Than Women

Marriage is a relationship based on needs, emotional feelings and not just social requirement. It has the power to enhance the capabilities of each other or in certain cases if mishandled, it can even destroy each other.
It is essential to reach a certain maturity level before getting into matrimonial relationship.
It requires certain understanding of each others needs and emotional feelings and make room for them.
When needs are not fulfilled, it leads to dissatisfaction and affects us emotionally. It is good to let out our pent up emotions instead of accumulating it to a point that it explodes and causes traumatic situation.
There are ups and downs in any family and in our life. It is how we handle them makes the difference. The important factor is our intentions.
There are two most essential things in marriage relationship are
1. Feelings for each other.
2. Communication
It is the feelings for each other that makes us face most of the challenges, give up certain rigidity to accommodate the needs of the partner, go out of the way to fulfill normal wishes of the partner.

Communication is essential to understand each other, their needs and feelings. Even emotional out bursts, anger etc are a form of communication though not healthy communication.

Non communication, miscommunication, hurting communication and indifferent attitude are some of the hurdles in marriage relationships.

Arranged marriages start of with social requirements and, along the way understanding each others needs and fulfilling them helps develop emotional feelings for each other. The faster we make efforts to understand each others needs and develop emotional attachment, the happier the relationship will be.

It is an established fact that the needs of women are little different then that of a man. Women is more sensitive in nature and looks for security. A man on the other hand attaches more importance to his physical and emotional needs and is more egoistic.

A little care should be taken in verbal communication. Any normal relationships are bound to face some hurting moments. It is advisable to avoid hurting words but to suppress your emotions is also harmful. With practice we can learn taming of emotions.

If we can learn to pacify each other after the hurting moments using simple words like "sorry", "I appreciate what you have done for me", "I love you" etc, it helps in diffusing the hard feelings. Men being more egoistic, this initiative will generally have to come from women. It can make the most egoistic people also melt fast.

A man generally seeks physical relationship to release his tensions. A woman should help her husband release his tensions. She should use her charm and make her husband feel wanted.

Ultimately it is the emotional feelings which counts and makes us take actions and decisions to accommodate the other partner and his incompatibility. If the emotional attachment is lacking, the marriage will be unhappy and sooner or later will result into traumatic situations.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Brain Bugs And Debugging

The brain is one amazing organ which works like a machine.
But as a machine, the brain is actually pretty simple.
Basically, it just records and plays back.
You put information in. It plays it back. You put information in. It plays it back.
It’s simple.
And, like a computer, it is very easily programmed.

Since the day you were born, you’ve had all sorts of "programming" entering your brain. I'm talking about information and commands, either coming from yourself, or from the outside world (through your five senses).
All our thinking, our actions and decisions are as a result of this "programming" entering our brain. Our brain is influenced depending on how we process the information. Sometimes these "programming" entering our brain "BUGS" our brain which affects our thinking, actions and decisions.
A disturbed brain (Bugged) can develop negative emotions leading to anger, pity, hatred, animosity, revenge, unhappiness, hurting,  and our actions and behavior are biased with our emotions and thinking.
It is necessary to "DEBUG" our brain. 
How do we do that? 
The following methods have helped many people
1. Yoga

2. Meditation

3. Reading "Positive Thinking" books or listening to Motvational talks

4. Spiritualism

5. Positive Self Talk

Some people take the more curiosity path of

1.  Hypnotherapy

2. Past life regression

3. Joining groups practicing certain philosophies

The aim of "Debugging" our mind is to make our brain processor function "Normally" so that we can lead a normal happy life by taking logical actions and decisions.

We have to create a balance of everything but when we become obsessed with any of the above paths, we have actually planted another "Bug" in the effort of "Debugging".

Planting another bug is more visible in the curiosity path and especially in "Joining groups practicing certain philosophies".

While most people find a solace in the above paths, some become obsessed. There is a very thin line between passion and obsession.